Thursday, April 29, 2010

I spent last night with Bobby Long

On Wednesday, due to some very strange events, right smack in the middle of a very strange week, I happened upon a web site for a local music venue and saw that Bobby Long was playing there THAT NIGHT. After looking at my calendar once or eight times, to make sure I was seeing the date correctly, I immediately called my Twi Friend in Crime, LQ, and was all like “OMG, one of Rob’s good friends, who co-wrote Let Me Sign in Twilight, is playing tonight nearby! He has a really similar style to Rob!” I gave her his name and told her to check him out online. She got all excited -“he really is like Rob! “Let’s go!”

So go we did. We went straight after work and had seats a few rows from the stage. Neither of us had a camera though - since we didn’t get to go home first. But when Bobby came out, he looked like this:

And this:

Except he was wearing an Ohio State t-shirt, really big eye glasses and his hair was obscuring most of his face, like a giant hair tongue. (And he had a unique way of playing with his hair tongue - flipping it back and forth from one side to the other.) But otherwise, he looked the same. And by same, I mean

Other women (which the audience overwhelmingly consisted of - SHOCKER) had some serious camera equipment going on. I’m not sure if they were hoping to catch him loosing his pants or something, but those flash bulbs did not stop.

I was immediately in awe of how similar he was to Rob - same body type, same clothing style, same accent, similar mannerisms, similar singing voice and guitar style, crazy healthy head of hair, scruffy facial hair, soft spoken and polite, self-effacing. I kept squinting, pretending it was Rob.

He was downing Blue Moons all night (we shared that in common - except I only had one) constantly delivered by someone said to be his girlfriend, and he was making fun of the orange in it. “Is this a beer or a fruit salad?”

Like Rob, he would laugh softly at himself and lick his lips a lot. I remarked that he had really, really nice teeth. And the lips weren’t bad either.

He told us this was his first gig back after being off for 3 weeks, taking some time off to iron out the details for his new recording contract. He said he preferred being on stage to meeting with lawyers. That this was the scariest and most beautiful time. He is planning to have an album out by the end of the summer.

He insulted all the over-45 people in the crowd when he told a story about “an old guy” and then mentioned that the guy was around 45. It was kind of bizarre that his audience had very few people his own age in it. I wondered if he thinks it’s bizarre…

He also announced he just moved to America, but wouldn’t say where. LQ yelled out “What city?” and he said “America”. Cute. But LQ had the last laugh. She ended up meeting his American girlfriend in the bathroom, where she mentioned living in NYC. We're guessing that’s where he moved to? LQ wondered when they when leaving town and if they would come over if she invited them to dinner. She's nice like that. I told her to go for it.

If we had a camera this would have been us after the show:

But we honestly wouldn’t have looked as good as these girls!

And if we had purchased a shirt, we would have gotten him to do this:

It was a work-night - and we got home late - so we chatted about the experience today:

(RB is me, Rob's Bitch - DOH!)

RB: Did you get a hold of Bobby and his girlfriend to invite them over for dinner tonight?
LQ: Ha ha!
She was sweet! I actually can't assume that she is his girlfriend, but his female companion was very nice
RB: I think someone in the audience said she was his girlfriend
LQ: Oh, well let's run with it then
I really think it would be nice to invite them to dinner
RB: Get them all liquored up and hope she passes out so we can have our way with him
LQ: You are bad!!
RB: I'd make him wear my Rob mask
and speak a lot
tell you stories about fucking you in Wales
actually, don't print this, but he did not look very well endowed
RB: sorry, I'm printing that!
RB: THere is lots of talk about how well endowed or not endowed Rob is
The general consensus is he's a grower, not a shower
LQ: OH, well, maybe that is Bobby's issue too
RB: I thought Bobby looked very nice in his tight jeans
LQ: I did not like his jeans
RB: what was wrong with his jeans?
LQ: He had stuff in his pockets that made his hips look wide and feminine and the seat was a little baggy
RB: How many Rum and Cokes did you have?
RB: I soooooo did not see any of that
LQ: Okay, well, I am glad you enjoyed is pants
I think he would have been a lot better with no pants
RB: Yes
and yes
LQ: Okay, I have some opinions to share about his music
I think that his voice is beautiful and his playing was brilliant
However, while I am sure his lyrics were nice, I have never heard them before and in a live performance I did not really pick up on what he was saying.
RB: Are you sure you were listening? I think you said "He's so Adorable!" at least 50 times.
LQ: shut up
But mostly the issue I have with his music is that it ran on in a steady stream instead of having ups and downs. I don't know what that is called because I do not know anything about music
Yes, he is so adorable
RB: I totally agree with you
That he is adorable
well not kidding
but about his music
LQ: I was able to identify one cover tune. He sang it better than what I might hear on the radio. One of the other women in the audience shouted out that Muddy and some other artists could not have done better
RB: There were 3 songs that encompassed all that is great about a song: moving lyrics, a catchy section and stirring chords
That sounded legitimate, right?
I'm terrible with this crap too
It reminds me of the time I had to do a music review of a jazz band in college - pre internet. So I couldn't even look up fake shit to write. It was awful.
LQ: Yeah, I just know what I like. To me his songs felt to even.
or steady
RB: And too many of them sounded the same. It was hard to distinguish one from the other
LQ: Yes, I think so. But, did you understand many of the lyrics?
RB: I could understand the lyrics. SO much more than I can understand Rob when he sings
It made me wonder if I really would like to have Rob do an entire album. Would it be boring?
LQ: Oh, I LOVED his jokes and comments! I thought that made the whole performance much more fun and it felt like we were getting a connection with him. It loosened the audience up and made us laugh a lot. It felt like an experience.
RB: I could understand Bobby much better when he sang, than when he spoke
LQ: Yeah, his speaking was pretty mumbly, but others seemed to understand him
One thing that was missing for me was the feeling that I had been emotionally swept up in Bobby's songs. Normally I feel that in a live performance. While I think he is a very talented singer and musician, I think someone else should write his songs.
RB: Someone ELSE should write his songs? Oh, that's c.o.l.d!
Maybe he just needs collaborators
He's only been playing guitar for 7 years. I think he has lots of potential
I'll be really interested to hear him in a band situation. See what the other musicians might bring to the table
LQ: That would be GREAT!!
RB: It was so exciting when he added the harmonica!
LQ: Okay, well I can't say someone else should write his songs because I did not understand what he was saying. I guess he could write the lyrics if someone else wrote the music.
YES, I loved the harmonica!
and I am not a big harmonica fan.
RB: I'm looking forward to his album
and going to his release party
where Rob will be
and then I’ll get to make out with ROb
you can have Bobby
LQ: Yes, that is what will happen
RB: I have to say that a bit of the ROb mystique seems to have faded after seeing his friend so close up
it's like they are just “regular guys"
sweet and nice ones, but not some "other"
LQ: Yes, I can see that. I think he did feel very accessible. It is nice, though.
RB: That is a lot of their appeal
kind of unprecedented
which is why I hold on to the delusion that I'll be his luv-ah
LQ: This could all get worse...your obsession
RB: I don't know
any little element could tip it one way or the other
Rob himself says that if you meet him, you realize quickly that he ain't all that interesting or exciting which of course makes him more interesting and exciting
he should write a book for other men
LQ: I can see what you mean. Very strange mix
RB: Now, what if it was Taylor Lautner performing last night. Doing backflips and break dancing on stage
What would you have done?
LQ: Okay, well, you need to understand that while I think TL is very hot with his new body and he is adorable in a way, I am not attracted to him. I like Jacob, not Taylor
RB: Ok, we'll go with that


  1. WOW sad , thats all

  2. Sorry, anonymous. Hope it gets better for you.

  3. This is HILARIOUS!

    You're not wrong about Bobby's music being monotonous with flairs of true talent. He does need to adapt his performances though. He's done the same jokes, the same banter, the same everything since he started. He needs a new act, to be honest.

    You should check out Marcus Foster's music. He's the true talent at song writing. His music will break your heart and give you hope at the same time. Also check out Sam Bradley. Now *there's* a great personality and showman!

  4. The girl that was there- SARAH- is a filmmaker who's recording a documentary on him, not his girlfriend. If you would've taken the time to talk to people instead of just assuming things you'd know what you were talking about and wouldn't look like such an idiot.

  5. Thanks, Keri, but I'm sure I'd still look like an idiot in some other way.

  6. dymndiz - ahhhh, monotonous. That's the word! Thanks...

  7. Keri, you stupid bitch, that is why I said, "She was sweet! I actually can't assume that she is his girlfriend, but his female companion was very nice"

    You need to get something important to care about.

  8. LQ, lol, behave! The only BITCH here is me!

    I'm not really sure how getting this wrong is particularly offensive. People in the audience where declaring that's who she was - they seemed to know.

    That's it - they were right and Keri is wrong! Since I don't really care enough to research this further ... let's go with that.

  9. "were" declaring not "where"

    Figures. I'm such an idiot.

  10. Dear Rob's Bitch, thanks for setting me straight. I should have chosen a different word for her. You are rightly, the Bitch here, but not an idiot. You smart lady.

  11. Wow you guys are so witty and funny and original, with all your hilarious sarcasm and your really cool blog about Rob. Right.

    And if you want to know, it's offensive because as a fan and friend of his, I know how much he values his privacy. All you did in this blog was compare him to Rob, bash his music and talk about his personal life which is incredibly annoying. About 5% of this mess even mentions his music, but you know what... I don't care. It's not even worth it to continue to respond to people like you, so I won't even bother.

  12. We actually said some nice things about him and his music, Keri. Reality is he wouldn't be on many people's radar if it wasn't for Rob, so I'm sure he'll trade some jabbing and minimal privacy invasion here for the opportunity to expand his career.

    You do realize I'm giving YOU a forum to bash MY blog - if Rob and Bobby and I put ourselves out there, that's a price we pay.

    But thanks for showing me just how ridiculous I look when I try to defend Rob on other sites. Much appreciated!

  13. I loved reading your blog Rob's Bitch! Very funny.. I agree with most of your posts with the exception of your comments about Bobby's music. One of the things I like most about Bobby's music is the build he creates in his songs so I just don't get that comment??
    Anyway, I went to Bobby's Philly show Friday night and watched him play with his band for the first time and they rocked it. Bobby still performed some songs solo which I still prefer but it was nice to hear him play with a band.
    I also have to say that of his 9 performances I've been to I had never seen him so happy and relaxed on stage. He is the real deal and I look forward to listening to his music for years to come. Love is music.

  14. Thanks Anon. I don't know why I didn't find his music to build, I'll have to listen further. That's exciting that you saw him with a band - I'm sure I'd enjoy that more. All a matter of preferences. :>)

    I prefer (shocker!) Rob's voice/style to most of his friends. I await in eager anticipation for him to delve into music professionally at some point. It can't come soon enough!

  15. he does have a girlfriend so she was not wrong

  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

  17. What did his girlfriend look like?