Thursday, May 13, 2010

Rob, your birth is something to celebrate

I know, I know, all of Rob Twidom will be doing a Rob birthday post today. It's like Christmas in May for Rob fans - Rob, Jesus, Rob, Jesus - same thing.

Everything in our world is BR and AR - Before Rob and After Rob. Forget the Christian calendar followed by most of civilization - we are now following the Rob Calendar, starting May 13, 1986. With his birth from here-on-in referred to as "The Holy Day".

So what the fuck. It's my first birthday celebration with Rob and I have this blog, so I'm going for it.

Rob, my birthday boy, my Messiah, in honor of your Holy Day, I will be partaking of the following activities:

- I will blow you out your candles for you. You seem to need a break from this activity.

- I will get my husband drunk and pretend he is Drunk Rob. Here you were last year on your 23rd birthday:

- Or I'll just get Mini-E drunk on Jello Shots:

- I will bake some Vegan Hot Pockets (Gotta love The Google. Someone - most likely a Rob Fan - created a recipe):

Vegan Hot Pockets

Ingredients (use vegan versions):

veggie pepperoni
soy cheese
Pillsbury crescent roll can


Preheat oven 270 degrees.

Open your can of crescents and unroll the dough. When unrolling your dough, make sure your slices are big enough to put your ingredients inside and seal. Place your soy cheese on top (no specific amount of cheese) and shred your veggie pepperoni slices on top of the cheese.

Roll up the dough to where no food is showing or pushing out the sides. Taking a fork, press the fork tips at the edges of the dough to seal it up; place each of your pies on a pan and put into the oven for 9 minutes, (or when the bread starts turn a golden brown; or if the cheese begins to run out the sides).

Let cool. Enjoy!

Serves: 4

Preparation time: 5 minutes

- I will take a bite out of your ass a cake with your face on it:

- I'll throw a Twilight-themed party with your face on the plates, napkins and cups:

- Full Sized Edward (FSE) will stand in for you:

- And I'll invite Full Sized Obama over. We'll crank up the Karaoke machine and have a blast singing Bon Jovi tunes:

- And then FSE and I will snuggle together on the couch, and watch you on Oprah:

I hope your day is as wonderful as mine Rob!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Black & White Shirtless, Dotless, Robert Pattinson

Thinking of Rob has become my naked-chested-Rob dealer of late. She's really good at removing the dots off of Robward during the New Moon Italy reveal. But she updates her blog so frequently (unlike me some other slackers I won't mention) that Rob's abs get buried rather quickly!

Consider this re-post my community service.

I present you with Black & White, Dotless, Shirtless Robward, courtesy of Thinking of Rob (click photos to enlarge):

Monday, May 3, 2010

Is Robert Pattinson the Last REAL Man in Hollywood?

Probably not, but go vote for him anyway in this E! News Really Useless Poll, Who's the Last Real Man in Hollywood?

Vote Here

You can always be my last man, Rob. I swear. If you sleep with me, I won't ever sleep with another man, again. It really shouldn't be too hard for me to abstain, just ask my husband.

Uma Thurman has to be done with other men, after you did this to her on the set of Bel Ami. Where are my smelling salts?