Thursday, November 24, 2011

LQ and I go to the movies - Breaking Down Breaking Dawn

RB: So have you been having dreams of blood and placentas?
LQ: OMG! LOL! No, I am having nightmares of the drunk guy who was sitting next to me because the wife must have dragged him there.
RB: hahahaha
LQ: He yelled out "Whore" at one point, but I don't know why
RB: did he know you?
the guy next to me was picking something on the roof of his mouth the whole time and his gf was telling him to stop it and someone reeked of alcohol so I was covering my face with my scarf
LQ: Okay, my guy wasn't that bad
RB: I just can't believe these girls bring their bf's to these movies
LQ: Right. What are they thinking?
RB: I think that's why the audience kind of sucked
not enough fan girls
I think the only sound anyone made was "Oh, Jacob" at the beginning when Taylor took his shirt off
and then when I yelled "ROB"
LQ: lol, there was a little bit of "Team Edward" and "Team Jacob" chanting. That was fun.
RB: what theater were you in? I heard nothin!

RB: did you notice the Stephanie Meyer cameo at the wedding? you have no idea what she looks like, do you?
LQ: I missed her, but I know that you said something when you saw her.
NO! I know what she looks like. I just was distracted!
RB: I loved Bella's dress - but man, that was some low-cut back
LQ: Yes, she was so BEAUTFUL!
RB: no wonder Edward couldn't stop tounging her after the "I Do's"
LQ: yeah, that was the best wedding kiss ever!
But I feel totally ripped off for not getting the good honeymoon scenes
this series sure causes a lot of frustration!
RB: well, you got more in the movie than in the book
can you imagine if they faded to black?
LQ: Yeah, but I keep thinking of the great scenes in that fan fic.
What was it called?
RB: Blood and Lust. That is pretty much the only fan fic I’ve read
I was searching for something better than the book
LQ: if they had faded to black there would be rampaging women everywhere
RB: it was nice though how they had Bella reliving the night before, so we got a little extra something
at first I was like "WHAT? Is that it???"
LQ: That chick can really build a great image
RB: Stephanie or Kristen?
Kristen knows what it's like to fuck Rob, so she's good to go
LQ: I think that it looks like Rob is the one bringing all of the energy to it.
Kristen looks so held back

RB: Speaking of Rob, he keeps claiming that he hasn't taken his shirt off the whole series, which is so not true. He actually had it off a lot in New Moon and his body was rockin
so for this one, he claims that he worked out a lot, but, his front looked like shit
very disappointing
his back is hella hot, but they should have CGI'd the crap out of his chest
RB: I mean really, what kind of marble is flabby?
LQ: Would you like to help him workout?
RB: I'd like to GIVE him a workout
LQ: Taylor obviously took his workouts more seriously.

RB: Ok, can we talk about how the wolves can't act?
The critics gave Taylor shit for this one, but next to Seth and Leah he's like fucking Laurence Olivier
LQ: I thought they were not bad. I guess I am easy to please
RB: Yes, you have very low standands
LQ: But yeah, the scene where we heard their thoughts was just not right.
RB: I can't decide if the thought talking scene was more like Ninja Turtles or Transformers
LQ: What? Ninja Turtles or Transformers? What?
RB: The sounds of their voices and how you can't see them talking
and the cheese factor
reminds me of one of those action series on Sat morning that have really bad production
LQ: Oh, well when they are in wolf form you are not supposed to see them talking because they communicate mentally
RB: I know! So they shouldn't have tried to convey that in film
have them meet in human form then
It's bad enough admitting you go to these movies, and then each one has something in it that just makes it all that much worse
LQ: I don't have trouble admitting it. I think the Twilight series is great and I am proud of it.
RB: hahahahaha
You’re the leader of the Twilight Pride Parade
LQ: ha , just kidding
Also, I don't understand why it is so hard to make the wigs and make up look good.
At least they looked better in this movie
RB: um, did you see Carlisle?
Peter Facinnelli must have pissed someone off
RB: or it was just his turn to look like a douche
LQ: It makes no sense. I can't think of any other movie in which the wigs and make up look so bad
RB: No kidding
Like wouldn't they have been fired after the first one?
LQ: Yeah, there should be an investigation.
RB: And why did the wolves look WORSE than the last two movies?
LQ: New CGI crew, huh?
RB: Did they accidentally fire the CGI crew when they meant to fire the wig crew?
LQ: That would explain some things
RB: seriously

LQ: I so want to go to Esme's Island
OH, there was a part that I think was in the book that was not in the movie.
remember in the book when she was pregnant they spent more time there and the lady who cleans knows of someone in the forest who is the child of a vampire and they go to visit them, don't they? And then during the big fight scene they join them.
RB: I don't remember, I was too busy calling you when reading Breaking Dawn saying "WTF is this crap?"
LQ: I think there was a vampire there who intentionally raped humans??
RB: on the Island? I don't want to visit it then!
LQ: LOL. It was so long ago, I can't remember. I don't know if it was on the island or mainland there
RB: I know they did end up finding half human/half vampire examples
LQ: right
RB: and someone did show up at the fight
LQ: yeah.
RB: but I can't recall the details
I considered re-reading the book, but couldn't bring myself to relive that nightmare again
LQ: okay. Well, I wonder how they are going to do the fight when they did not set up the characters
RB: but maybe I should read it again
or not
LQ: I guess they are going to leave those characters out?
RB: they can't do that much character development or backstory
So yeah, they'll leave a lot out

LQ: When is part 2 going to come out?
RB: next November
but I dont' care
Bel Ami is finally going to be released around February
and I'll be too busy masturbating to the DVD by then
LQ: LOL!!!!
RB: seriously
LQ: I will not be coming to visit you at that time
RB: yes, you better call first at the least
I've never wanted to see a movie so much in my life
LQ: Wow.
I will go to it with you.
Wear panty liners
RB: you better not
LQ: Maybe a whole pad
RB: If you wear one of those things they give you for the Maid of the Mist at Niagara Falls, you might be good
LQ: lol

RB: so, did you think Breaking Dawn was scary?
or too gory?
RB: people are acting like it was hard to watch
I didn't think so at all
LQ: Jeez
Not too scary or gory.
RB: and the critics were just way too hard on the film
LQ: I never listen to critics
RB: there's just a desire to bash Twilight
LQ: Yes. They are prejudiced
RB: someone needs to create a college class on that phenomenon
LQ: It would fit in a Sociology study

RB: So how cool was pregnant Bella? even though the wolf cgi was bad, they really made Kristen look scary
LQ: Yeah! They did a great job on Bella! It was so cool when her back broke. She is standing there looking fine, well, except for her skin tone and skeletal body, and then all of a sudden a snap noise and she went down.
also love the slow mo of Edward catching her head before it hit the floor
RB: I wonder if they had her in a harness for that, so she could bend weird
LQ: Must have
But, I think it had to have been more than that because no one can bend that way, right?
RB: Actually I hear Kristen is very bendy
Rob likes it that way
RB: actually Rob has strange bendy properties himself
LQ: Bendy
Uh, are you fantasizing about your doll
RB: no, Mini E is NOT bendy
unlike like Real Rob, who has those flexijoints
his fingers can go all weird and he can turn his elbows out and his legs are like a newborn fawn
LQ: Yuck!
RB: Hahaha
I’m sure there are fan fictions written about it

LQ: Oh, I loved the waterfall scenes
RB: yes, it was cute how he was trying to distract her from sex
Rob is used to having to keep fan from throwing him down and screwing him, so he played that realistically
running away from her and stuff
very cute
the one thing I wished he played better was when he heard Renesmehaveatupidname talk
RB: he should have been a bit more excited over it
but it was sweet after when they were a team again and all lovey dovey
LQ: yeah, it was a little mild when he heard her. He could have played it better
Yes, that was a really nice normal couple moment! So nice for them after all of the drama and distress

RB: my favorite line of the movie, that only I seemed to get in the entire theater and LOL'd at was when Bella was on the phone in the bathroom after she realized she might be pregnant "Carlisle, I'm a little concerned. Can vampires go into shock?"
LQ: LOL! No, I loved that! We thought she was going to talk about herself, but she was worried about Edward, it was so funny!
So unexpected

LQ: one thing weird was they didn’t show how they dressed her and put make up on her. She just mysteriously had make up on and a dress
RB: they did put the dress on her and brushed her hair, but the instant makeover was pretty funny. I guess it’s some kind of Vampire Perma Makeup
RB: All I know is that what I'm most looking forward to after Breaking Dawn, Pt. 2, is we'll get to see The Nightmare After Renesmee - Tim Burton's next flick. Clearly he was the inspiration for Bella's after birth look
LQ: LMAO, yeah, we both thought of that at the same time!
RB: but hopefully this last one will be fun
we must do the midnight show though for that - better chance of a decent audience.
LQ:YES! I can't wait!!!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Rob survives the Black Carpet. I didn't.


I was sitting on my ass watching the live feeds of the Breaking Dawn premiere from L.A. last night and I am still exhausted from just VIEWING the event. I can't believe what they do to Rob at these things.

Dean, hold me.

From the second he steps out of the car, he is thrown into the undulating, screaming masses, wielding a Sharpie like a sword - slashing his way through all kinds of items to autograph, while commandeering cameras and phones like a techie. (At one point he seemed to stop, take and keep an orange poster from a fan. Anyone know the scoop on that?)

He was asked if he has carpal tunnel from all the signing. He said it's made his hand stronger. Er...

Rob has said that he's had to create an alter ego to deal with the surreal experience of these kinds of events, and it's not a surprise. You can't remain sane and be the object of this insanity. Holy shit. He barely had a moment to nervously run his hand through his hair every so often.

He is constantly surrounded by an entourage who have varying degrees of responsibility to protect him, move him along and attend to his needs. Where Rob went, there were his managers, security and that bitchy Summit lady who cuts off interviews mid-sentence (although she seems to have mellowed a bit).

Who are you and hurry up, I have 3 seconds.

One minute he is with the fans, and then someone grabs him to pose for the paps, and then he's back to the fans, and then doing an interview, then grabbed back and thrown together with Kristen for a photo op, and then he has 12 mics shoved in his face at once while trying to hear and answer inane questions over the noise, and then back to an interview, only to start autographs again. Whew.

What will I miss most about being Edward? Not your assinine questions.

I thought the poor boy was going to lose an arm or two. Do they coordinate with each other on these things? What if, OMG, Nick and Stephanie had bad timing and pulled him in 2 directions at the same time? #shudders.

The rest of this photo is hidden because his arms are hanging out of the sockets.

It's not the fans Dean (the bodyguard) needs to protect Rob from, it's his freaking managers!

Nick is pulling on Rob's leg, out of the shot.

At one point I thought his head was surely spinning around as he was moved so quickly from one direction to another. How about you leave him in one place and let everyone come to HIM?! Jeez...fucking crazy shit. No wonder he looks constantly bewildered. He might as well be in a mosh pit.

But then out of the chaos and insanity, comes shots like this. And it all makes a little more sense.

(Photos pilfered mostly from Robsessed)