Sunday, July 29, 2012

I feel for Rob...and Kristen

Oy vey, what a week. The relationship Rob and Kristen worked so hard to keep private, was suddenly thrust into public view in such an explosive manner.

US Weekly had them married, broken up, pregnant and cheating so many different times that I initially blew the story off as yet another attempt by this piece of crap "magazine" to make money. I guess if you throw shit at a wall enough times, some of it is going to stick.

There are so many disturbing layers to this event - where do you even begin?

I don't know the inner workings of all the relationships involved, but the public spotlight shining on them makes me feel for everyone affected. It's none of our business and yet somehow that doesn't seem to matter in our society. An entire industry exists selling the private info of people making a living in public - because people buy it.

What I find most disturbing though is the crucifixion of Kristen. Our society quickly turns into an angry lynch mob without knowing all the information and without any consideration for the individual at the other end. It always disgusts me, and this time is no exception.

Especially when it comes from women who would have "cheated" on their boyfriends or husbands if given the chance to hook up with Rob. Is anyone thinking about Kristen in that equation? Nope. Millions of people - men and women - want her boyfriend. That is a position none of us will ever be in nor can fathom. How did that alone affect her choice here?

Kristen is already the target of people who dislike her (how do you dislike someone so much that you don't even know and wish them harm??), so this just gives them the opportunity to pile it on and somehow validate their feelings toward her. I'm aware that I only know a version of Rob and Kristen from what is shown to us - and much of that is a reaction to screaming fans, forced interviews, stalking paps and flashing cameras - but unfortunately there are many people who don't get that.

Where is the anger at the parasitic paparazzi that follow her and Rob's every step? The money this guy was rewarded with for essentially being a Peeping Tom is more morally repugnant than anything he filmed.

This is my assessment based on the little info I know: Rupert Sanders was predatory toward Kristen. Months sequestered on a set, the focus all on his star, her interest in the technical aspects of directing, him being an authority figure, traveling together for promos. It can be a heady feeling to have that kind of attention, that led to her eventually succumbing to his advances.

Her age and lack of real-world experiences is an excellent excuse for her behavior. She had an unusual upbringing on Hollywood sets. She barely went to school - never dealing with normal peer pressure or adolescent drama. She didn't experience the normal teacher crushes. She never whored around in college like most of us. No one can deny that she comes to age 22 through a very different path than most women.

If this meeting hadn't been filmed, my guess is it would have fizzled out on its own - and dealt with in private as it should have been. My reading on the photos I saw was that he was way more into her than she was into him. This wasn't going anywhere. She wasn't wanting out of her relationship with Rob - she just got caught up in Rupert's desire.

So here we are.

I can't help but wonder if they made the wrong choice in their attempts to be so overly private about their relationship and if this only added to the spectacular nature of the reveal in the public's eye. It would make for an interesting study.

Personally, I'm feeling less excited at the prospect of seeing Rob in person at the TimesTalk event with David Cronenberg in 2 weeks. While I'd be disappointed if Rob canceled due to everything going on, I almost hope he does since I'll feel like I'm intruding on him at a time when he needs to be away from the public.

I hope everyone can start showing a little more compassion and a little less judgment. Empathy is a beautiful thing...try it.


  1. Very well said.

  2. I second that. Your observation and character assessments were spot on. This fiasco is blown way out of proportion. I for one am just waiting for the dust to settle.

  3. Thanks for stating this so thoughtfully. Ridiculous bloody feeding frenzy, this...
    would it be so if Rob had strayed?
    It would barely cause a ripple beyond
    some titillation.
    Women have different rules ...for women?
    Fork no.
    I support them both.

  4. Thank you RB for expressing so well what I'm feeling right now. I feel so bad for both of them, knowing at the same time that I'm parrt of the problem, not of the solution, because I am a consumer, although indirectly, of this rabid market for news about our beloved Rob.

    REgarding the crucifixion of Kristen you mention, I really tried to keep away from most of the media and frankly in my country I heard only mentions on the radio. And you know what? None of them were directed against Kristen, more likely they were directed against Rob, joking about his sexual performance, his sexual orientation, and so on. I have a teenage daughter, and although she's a fan of Rob's, she's also a fan of Kristen's. And teens rally together and defend her, believe me. The only channel I have on my cable with related celebrity news is E! And you can follow a subtle path there. There's been a change from day one, to today. Kristen's PR team is doing a great job and although she must be going through hell in private right now, mark my words, she will come out of this way better than Rob. The words they are using in their reports, the photos, the clips are much more favourable to Kristen right now. Their opinions they show are all positive. Regarding Rob on the other hand, the opinion they showed were from members of the band The Wanted, who when asked what advice they would give to Rob, they laughed, made funny faces, and finally replied "there are more fish in the sea" or something like that". As the days pass, Rob is being perceived more and more like a laughingstock. So yes, I agree with you, I hope Rob cancels his q&a in nyc. Time to heal, regroup and see things from a different perspective.
    sorry for the long, long rant, I have no one to talk to about this and strangely enough, the whole situation hurts in a strangely familiar manner. And apologies for my English, it's not my first language.

  5. I really like your take. You have put it into perspective. I have been disgusted by the director, and I like your take on the fact that Kristen was raised differently socially. It's too bad that there has to be ANY criticism on any of their parts, yet I haven't heard much about the director.B*ST*RD.

  6. Oh, poor Kristen~REALLY?!! I can't believe this crap you're spreading~~She broke a trust, which is pretty bad in itself..but with a MARRIED director with children and a wife. What about those innocents? Oh, you're so worldly, so European in your attitude to cheating, yes, yes, it's no one's fault, all just an understandable mistake and she's come out smelling like a rose, blah, blah, blah. Wow, I'm SUCH a bad person for judging, yadda etc. Yeah, there are jerkoffs who will laugh at Rob, make fun of the whole situation and then you people who feel so sorry for poor Kristen, what a load! There are no morals anymore. Yay for all you enlightened people who see personal growth in a personal tragedy and lack of integrity on Kristen's part.

  7. To Anonymous - I feel very sorry for you as well. To have such strong emotions about a topic and people that have nothing to do with you must be a very frustrating way to live. I hope you can come to the realization soon that nothing being reported is likely true, seek some counseling and find some peace in yourself.