Friday, January 13, 2012

Rob's head looks like.... closely trimmed va-jay-jay.

Now you know what my pubes look like.

No seriously. Exactly.the.same.

And that’s not a look I want to see on top of Rob’s head.

I admit I’m picky when it comes to guys' hair and clothes. And I definitely have preferences when it comes to Rob. One of my greatest pleasures in life is looking at him – and I’m not apologizing for that!

My husband I have to love no matter how crappy he looks; my fantasy boyfriend needs to keep up appearances, or it's over.

This is what I think happened with Rob’s hair:

Nick: Rob, you have to at least get the beard cleaned up and get a haircut for The People’s Choice Awards appearance.

Rob: Fine. It’s the fans’ fault I have to go to this piece of shit award show during my time off, so fuck ‘em. I’ll just shave the thing and I’m wearing whatever the fuck I pull off the floor. Then I’m only going to show up for 2 minutes, sit next to Betty White, accept the award, and leave.

This photo was snapped right after Betty told Rob "I would have fucked you after the show, but now I have nothing to grab on to."

Yup, that’s how it played out…

Unless he had let it grow so much, and hadn't combed it in so long, that all the tangled clumps had to be shaved off. A more likely scenario.

Oh, Rob....

Rob’s Hair:

Long-ish hair is fine – but not when it’s floppy, or greasy, or all over the place.

Yeah, um, no

Short hair is fine – but not so much when you can see the cranial landscape.

And people thought THIS was too short.

I’m sick of the ugly baseball hats.

No Rob, I will NOT obey until you stop wearing the baseball hats!

Amazingly starting to miss the beanie, although that got a little old as well.

The Beanie kind of grew on me - and I'm sure that wasn't the only thing growing on that sweaty thing...

The Grizzly Adams beard sucks. And hair on the neck, under the chin, grosses me out!!!

BAD beard/hat combo

GOOD beard/hat combo, bwhahahahahaha

Now THIS beard works (although the hair is pushing my limits)

This shot makes my trimmed va-jay-jay very happy!

Hate when the eyebrows are too overgrown – if you can braid them or they are starting to grow into the hairline, trim them.

I want to hold him down and manscape those things :>)

Rob's Clothes:

I don’t mind casual, but there are degrees of casual. Rob tends to go way too casual to some award shows and interviews (not Adam Sandler-casual, but too casual none the less).

This is what the schlub wears to a premiere. Enough said...

Sharing shirts with Tom Sturridge and Kristen aren’t cutting it.

I wonder if Tom and Rob compete for bad looks? I also wonder if they wash the shirts before swapping.

If the clothes aren’t crisp and clean and without tears, it’s never appropriate for an award show…period.

At least his People's Choice Award outfit was...dark?

Rob doesn’t give a shit – which irritates me and makes me chuckle at the same time. If I leave the clothing selection to Mr. Bitch, he will inevitably be changing before we leave the house – at least once. Rob and I would not get along.

I guess I'm not really Rob's Bitch after all - clearly he's mine.

And just to put my critique of Rob in perspective, I'll leave you with this photo of Tom Sturridge

1 comment:

  1. You nailed it.

    I really hate seeing him wearing a plain white undershirt/t-shirt, but I guess as long as he doesn't have a real home, and has to live out of a backpack most if the time, his wardrobe will remain limited.

    I've noticed KStew has started imitating him by mis-matching or skipping shirt buttons. Just . . . no.