Never Think you can underestimate the power of Rob

It's dark and rainy, Aunt Flo is flowing hard and fast and giving me the shits. I'd rather be anyplace than where I am - in agonizingly slow, rain-induced traffic, having to take off an hour from work, in search of a place to live - worrying I'm going to be forced to take a dump on the side of the road, in the rain. But the month is running out of days and I can't postpone checking this place out for wishes of nicer weather, a calmer stomach and a period-free day.

The radio is offering no comfort - repeating traffic and weather updates; music I don't want to hear; obnoxious announcers reading loud and crappy ad scripts. So I switch to my "mix" CD that's already in the player. It's songs I'm practicing for singing perfomances, but for some odd reason I included..

...Rob.

As if by design, it was cued up to his track. The car was suddenly filled with the calming guitar intro of Never Think - and it was transformative. Like instantaneously cathartic.

I was in Port Angeles, not in traffic. I was at Bella Italia, not in my car. I was eating dinner with Rob amid soft lights and he was telling me he didn't have the strength to stay away from me any longer. I pictured his fingers playing each string and his mouth releasing each lyric. I released a big sigh, and formed a big smile. And said out loud, "Vampire".

Just kidding...

I said "thank you Rob". And I really meant it. It's amazing the joy this man brings.

Mr. Bitch's Twitarded faux pas

This was just too good not to share..

Mr. Bitch: So anything new going on with Rob?

Rob's Bitch: Not really. Oh, some people Tweeted that they saw Rob and Kristen eating out and that Rob shaved his beard.

Mr. Bitch: Are you sure the TwiTarts don't just put this stuff out there to get everyone all excited about something?

Rob's Bitch: What was the name you just used? Did you just say TwiTarts?

Mr. Bitch: Yeah, TwiTarts. Right?

Rob's Bitch: Bwhahahahahahaha. It's TwiTARDS, not TwiTARTS! But that's pretty funny. I wonder if anyone has used that.

Mr. Bitch: Well, you are a TwiTart.

He's got me there....