Friday, April 20, 2012

Reading Robmopolis

I've retitled this Robmopolis, because no way in hell would I have read it otherwise.


Never in a million years would I have picked up Cosmopolis and read it. Let's just say Don DeLillo (or David Cronenberg, for that matter) is not on my radar. Or anywhere near my radar. Or could find my radar with another radar. If it's not non-fiction, Gone With the Wind, or Twilight, chances are I haven't read it.



Yup, pretty much the only fiction I've ever read.



In fact, I didn't buy Cosmopolis at all. Mr. Bitch bought it for me after our stalking 10-year-anniversary trip to Toronto last June during Cosmopolis filming. It's been sitting on my coffee table ever since, under my Beloved, Well-Worn, Shutterfly-Created, Rob Coffee-Table Book.

Until a few weeks ago...

...when that fuck-crazy, 34-second Cosmopolis teaser trailer came out. You know, the one that changed Rob's career in 34 seconds? Seriously. People are fucking ridiculous. Here's Rob acting pretty close to how he did in Remember Me, throw in gratuitous violence, sex and David Cronenberg, and all of a sudden, Rob is legit. Idiots. Fickle, fickle, idiots.



OMG, Pattinson is a pansy-ass vampire the most awesome actor EVER!!!!!



So I'm watching the teaser trailer and of course I was like, "WTF, I've gotta read the book 'cause I have no clue what is going on." And let me tell you, the ONLY redeeming quality of this book is that I got to picture Rob as the protagonist. Ok, it did have some interesting commentary on society that stuck with me for a little bit. But man, Don DeLillo is not a pleasure to read. Being able to envision Rob, while being exposed to the story for the first time, was pretty cool though. Even more so than when I read Bel Ami, for some reason.

Now, I'm not sure what to recommend - read the book before seeing the film, or not? It seems that the film closely follows the book, so I don't think anyone needs to read it before seeing it in order to understand the plot. And there is absolutely NO risk that the book will be better than the film. None! So unless you want the vicarious thrill of imagining Rob now, as opposed to seeing him doing these things in the flesh (and some flesh there will be) later, I wouldn't bother with the book.

Flesh...


...and some more flesh.



You're welcome.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Well now, that's not something you see every day



That was the first thing I thought when I saw the photos of PaddleRob.

The second thing I thought was "Why the fuck did I pick THIS Sunday to take an internet break and how is it that work was sooooooo busy Monday I didn't get a chance to see these pictures until Tuesday?"

Some other thoughts that went through my head:

"Rob goes to the beach? I bet he's not wearing sunscreen."


"OMG, his hair grew in!" and "I like his beard better wet."


"Is he at the beach all alone? That doesn't seem safe."


"Um, those waves are pretty wimpy, but I'm still surprised he can stand up on the board."


"Holy crap, he truly almost lost his trunks a few times."


"There aren't sharks in Malibu, are there?"


"Rob looks hot running...


and running...


and running."


"Aww, Rob appreciates wildlife."


(All photos stolen from Robsessed)