Kristen Stewart needs a PEDI! STAT!

I have a thing about hands and feet. Mr. Bitch (henceforth known as "Mr. B")says I'm a freak, but if the nails are too long, or the shape of the appendages are strange or unnattractive (based on my own personal gag-o-meter) I'm weirded out. In fact, I would probably not enter into a physical relationship with someone whose hands and feet I found unappealing. (I refuse sexual contact with Mr. B if he hasn't trimmed to my specifications.)

I do make exceptions though if the issues are sporadic, like with Rob - whose nails can be long sometimes. And I have a feeling he has ugly feet - but since it would only be a one time thing anyway, he can keep his socks on. Taylor Lautner? Gag-o-rama! His nails are funky!

Also, I cannot STAND when women (or men) continue to wear polish beyond the expiration date. If it's looking raggedy, they have this new-fangled invention known as p.o.l.i.s.h. r.e.m.o.v.e.r. Use it! I especially don't understand when celebrities do this, knowing they will be photographed or doing a photoshoot. I mean REALLY? If I had that kind of money, I'd be getting manis and pedis daily, for fuck's sake.

Which brings me to Kristen Stewart. Girlfriend needs a pedicure - badly. Exhibit A:



This photo of her was taken yesterday at the ELLE Style Awards in London, where she won the Woman of the Year Award. (I haven't absorbed the full meaning of THAT yet, but it probably requires its own post.) So that means she has probably been boinking Rob the last few days - with feet that look like t.h.a.t.

I'm sure Rob has his own personal foot-hygiene issues, and neither of them strike me as people who really give a shit about this, but still - if you get to fuck The Rob, could you at least respect that ultimate gift bestowed upon you? I mean, what if he wants to suck on those piggies? Be ready! There's a million polished tooties willing to take your place.

Kristen also attended the Burberry show in London, where she looked really cute and seemed to have a blast.



And THANKFULLY, she wore closed-toe shoes!